People Pleasing Is Not Kindness. It Is Misalignment.

We think the thing holding us back is fear. Or lack of confidence. But sometimes it is something sneakier than that. Sometimes it is people pleasing. And in leadership, in business, in the work you are called to build, people pleasing is not kindness. It is misalignment.

I know because it had me.

The Disguise

People pleasing does not show up wearing a sign. It disguises itself as "you are so easy to work with" or "thank you for always helping me last minute". As flexibility. As being easy to work with, collaborative, servant hearted. People used to tell me I had so much grace and that would give me a little boost inside. But looking back? That was not grace. That was me not rocking the boat. (I know what grace is now)

What it actually produces is unclear expectations, overextension, resentment, and burnout. And for me personally? I overdid it. Every. Single. Time.

The Scripture That Shifted Everything

I was in the middle of a corporate mess. Marketing meeting. Things went sideways fast. I was caught between the C suite, a marketing director pushing the brand somewhere it was never meant to go, and my own job title. As a creative director, my whole role was to protect the heart of the brand. And here I was, trying to make everyone happy instead.

That is when I found Colossians 3:23 through 24:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters."

That scripture switched my whole mindset. I stopped trying to please people in that room and started working for an audience of One. And you know what happened? The marketing director came back and said it was beyond what she imagined.

The Scripture That Broke It Off

But the deeper healing came later. When I was let go from a position I had poured everything into, I realized something hard: I had idolized my title. I was in my late 30s wondering what was next. That is when Jeremiah 17:5 through 8 set me free.

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord...But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes. Its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Write it down. Put it by your desk. This scripture literally broke people pleasing off of me.

When You Seek Approval, You Miss What God Is Sending

Here is the thing nobody talks about: when you are so focused on making people happy, you cannot see what the Lord is actually bringing you. I am sure opportunities walked right past me because I was looking the wrong direction. I was so worried about whether a client responded fast enough, whether the feedback was good enough, whether I was enough... that I know I missed what was right in front of me.

When you make decisions based on approval instead of obedience, you move from trusting God to trusting perception. And a cursed mind cannot see the prosperity coming.

But a tree with roots planted by the water? It does not panic in the drought. It bears fruit anyway.

If this opened something up in you, I want to invite you into the Encouragement Series. It is a free gift, me sharing the biggest lessons from the years this was all being worked out of me. The roots were forming even when I could not see it. Yours are too.

Access it here: www.candicedmadrid.com/encourage

Listen to the full episode: Apple Podcasts • Spotify